Before I Will Fade
by UmbraTsuki
Summary: The time in Twilight Town may seem to be the last time Xion and Riku met, but it really wasn't. What was their last conversation?


**Title:** Before I Will Fade  
**Summary:** The time in Twilight Town may seem to be the last time Xion and Riku met, but it really wasn't. What was their last conversation?  
**Spoilers?:** Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days.  
**Characters/Pairings:** Xion, Riku, Rion, some mentions of Sora, Roxas and Axel.  
Xion's POV.

-----

_Who am I?_

That was my first thought waking up that morning. My dreams had held more of Sora's memories. I knew what my name was. Xion. But who was I really? What purpose did I have?

None. I was only a replica. I had no reason to exist.

But I could only continue thinking that until I saw Roxas and Axel in the Gray Room. Things were still...awkward between us. We hadn't really talked in so long.

Roxas was still mad at Axel for using force to get me back to the castle. I felt guilty about it. If I hadn't went off with Riku, to learn more..

But how much did I learn, really?

That day Saïx gave me a mission at the Destiny Islands, once again. It was another of those endurance tests. Gather all the Organization emblems. "Defeat any Heartless you see, as well," Saïx said.

"Okay," I nodded. I had already known that anyway. But arguing or causing any trouble with Saïx...that couldn't turn out good.

I opened up a Dark Corridor leading to Destiny Islands. I appeared in the Cove where I was to collect the emblems.

It was finished in a matter of minutes. I didn't meet any Heartless, either.

_Maybe I'll stay here for a while..._ I thought. The beach was so peaceful...there was no reason to return back to the Castle that Never Was so immediately.

I stood on the shore and stared out at the ocean. The wind blew against my face, blowing droplets of refreshing water.

_You'll have to leave this, soon,_ I told myself. _To return these memories to Sora.._

"Xion?" I familiar voice brought me out of my thoughts. That was good, anyway, I wasn't excited about fading away.

I turned toward the voice and saw Riku, standing only about five feet away. _What is he doing here?_ I wondered. But somehow, I was glad to see him.

"Riku.." I said. Then I sighed. _I should probably get back to the castle...this isn't--_

"Have you made a decision?" Riku asked, stepping closer.

"I don't know," I shook my head and stared at the shore, watching the waves come and go along the sand. There were a few seashells there, too.

On instinct, I picked one up. _What should I do...?_ I wondered. "I think...I might give my memories back..." How was I so sad about this? Why did I feel so...horrible? I wasn't supposed to feel. I didn't have a heart.

The sadness must have shown. "Xion.." Riku's voice changed a bit. It sounded somewhat...sympathetic. "You don't _have_ to give his memories back. Remember, try to make the choice that's right for everyone. Including your friends."

"But..." I turned toward him while still holding the seashell close. It felt a bit...reassuring. "If I don't give the memories back, then...Sora..."

_"I'm just sad,"_ Riku had said, last time we met on the island. I knew, at least partially, what sadness felt like. And I didn't want Riku to have to go through it.

"Heh," Riku gave a small laugh, but it seemed like it held no humor. Just the sadness he had mentioned long before. "Even if Sora's waking up depends on it...I'm still giving you this decision." He seemed to look at me, though the blindfold made it impossible to know for sure. I couldn't read any emotions well, since I couldn't see his eyes, either.

"But Sora's your friend," I protested. I wanted to live. I didn't want to give Sora's memories back. How could I be so selfish, though?

Riku smiled slightly. "You have friends, too," he reminded.

I only nodded. "It's just...so hard to decide. I don't know what to do." Why could I never decide? Why did I not know anything? "It's so frustrating!" I began to tremble from all of the emotions that had bottled up. The emotions that shouldn't exist.

As the seashell slipped from my hand, I simply watched it fall. It didn't matter...just like me...

Riku bent down and picked it up. Could he really see from under the blindfold? I couldn't tell. I took the seashell back when he handed it to me, anyway.

"Thank you," I said. The seashell glimmered in the sun before I put it in my coat pocket. So beautiful...

I felt water start to run down my cheeks. From the ocean?

_No,_ I realized. _They're tears.._ How did I know that?

But when I accepted them, I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. I let myself cry, trying to get out my frustration and sadness. I felt like a fool.

And then the most surprising thing happened. Riku walked closer and put his arms around me. it felt so comforting. _Just like the time I woke up in his arms...that was here on Destiny Islands, too.._

"I'm sorry," I apologized. I started to pull away from Riku, but he held on tighter.

"It's fine," Riku shook his head. His voice held some sadness, again. Maybe we were both sad. "Just...it's fine to cry. When you need it.."

As if it were a reaction, I turned to wrap my arms around him, as well. "Riku...thank you."

We stood there for who knows how long, holding one another. For comfort? I supposed so. What else would it be for?

"I should probably go now," Riku told me. He pulled away and was about to walk away, when I reached out on impulse and grabbed his sleeve.

"Don't go," I said, much too softly. But I guess he heard, because he stepped back beside me and put his hand on my shoulder.

"Are you okay?"

Was I? It was hard to tell. "I just..." What? What was it? "I don't want to be alone," I told him. But what about Axel? Or Roxas?_They don't know what's going on. They wouldn't understand as well as Riku would._

Riku nodded. His hand didn't move, for which I was glad. It felt comforting.

"Why do you always wear that blindfold?" I found myself asking. I don't know why I did--but at least it was a change from talking about Sora and anything related to him. A nice change.

"I wear it to..." Riku hesitated. "I have much darkness in my heart. This...it helps me keep control of it."

"Do you _have_ to wear it?" My mind was imagining, wondering what his eyes looked like.

"I can take it off for small amounts of time," Riku replied, "but not for too long. Why...?"

"I don't know," I shook my head. "I just thought...I've never seen what you really look like. Without the blindfold."

Riku stared at me for a moment, then asked, "Do you want to see?"

Not knowing how else to answer, I just nodded. He slowly slipped his hand off my shoulder and reached up to his blindfold, about to take it off.

"Wait," I put my hands on his to stop him. Then I reached up to his blindfold--slowly at first, to make sure he didn't mind--and lofted it up myself.

His eyes were beautiful. That was the only way to describe them. They seemed to hold so much...sadness, though. A painful past. What had happened?

Riku slipped the blindfold all the way off his head and held it by his side. He seemed to be studying me with his eyes, but...he looked really sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"N-nothing..." Riku sighed.

"Please...tell me..?" I was still staring into his eyes, then. I don't remember when I had started doing so--maybe the moment he took off his blindfold. It felt like I couldn't look away.*

Slowly, Riku nodded. He looked away, breaking the eye contact and walked a few steps away, along the shore, then looked out at the ocean. "It's just that...you look a lot like Kairi." Why did those words seem to hurt me? I was the one who said the same thing, before. "I haven't seen her in a long time."

I nodded. "Do you love her?" I asked. _Why did you just ask that??_ I scolded myself. _You're so stupid...maybe Saïx is_ right _to call you a puppet._

Riku smirked. "I care about her a lot," he turned toward me, staring at me with the intense turquoise eyes that he had. He started walking toward me. "But I have no feelings for her past that. She's just a friend."

"Okay," I said quietly. I wasn't sure what else to say. Why had I even asked that?*

"I...really should go," Riku said apologetically. He brushed away some of the hair that had blown into my face, causing my face to heat up. _Blushing.._ I wasn't sure how, but the name of the action came to me. _But...why...?_

"Okay," I said reluctantly, nodding. I didn't want him to leave. Even if I had Axel and Roxas...things hadn't been the same, lately. "I'm glad I got to see you...one last time. Before I will fade."

"You might fade physically," Riku said. "But the memories of you...they won't fade. I'll never forget you."

"Thank you," his words felt so reassuring. "For everything, Riku."

His eyes seemed a bit more joyful before he brought the blindfold back up and tied it on. He then leaned in quickly, letting his lips touch my forehead, before stepping backward into a Dark Corridor.

He was gone. But I could still feel the kiss..

_A kiss...?_ I was so confused. But...I felt peaceful. I took out the seashell again and studied it carefully.

The shape was somewhat like a pointed teardrop. It was a yellow sand color at the fatter end, and the other end was a pinkish purple color. There were a few spikes on the pink end of it.

The seashell gave me such a reassuring feeling. _"I'll never forget you."_

I'm so glad that, on that day, I saw Riku.

_((In this fanfic, the seashell Riku gave her, that's the seashell that she also leaves behind for Roxas._

_I've yet to decide whether I will tie this into my main fanfics, **Remembering XIV** and **Last Whispers**, as well, or not.))_


End file.
